I need freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm an adult liaos!! Stop questioning me & saying me. Sometimes, its realli damn pek cek! Pengs. I know you all care about me. Bud i need some of my personal space!!




And, for you that is the best i can do. If u don appreciate it, there's nothing more i can do.
Do u really understand what i mean? Tired of asking.

What more can i say? Everything around me is changing too fast, so fast that i cant catch up. I feel tired of chasing. Many things had happened, and i dont know how to handle. Mayb i jus turn back to my old ownself, giving up on everything, living a world that only haf myself.


Nothing happen is good for me nowadaes, sometimes realli thinking of leaving dis place and go overseas for a long period. Need time to heal. If not, i think i'll have depression.


Qn: WHO WILL BE THERE FOR ME ALWAYS WHEN I NEED SOMEONE?
Ans: NO ONE.

Cos nobody understands me.
Dont say u know, cos i know u dont know.

你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
怎么了 你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了
梦远了 开心与不开心 一一细数着 你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不等了 说好的幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢
你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌假装 没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到 这真的痛了
怎么了 你累了 说好的幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心 一一细数着 你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢
怎么了 你累了 说好的幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得 你不等了 说好的幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

This entry is for my beloved dog. He passed away this morning (16 oct 2008). We all crys. And the onli way for me to stop crying is, i have to keep reminding myself that mayb this is good for him. As he's been suffering for the past few months b'cos of his heart problem.



This morning, ard 7+am. My dad come into my room and wake us up, telling us to go and see him b'cos he getting very serious and it might be the last time we see him. I still tot not so serious and lied on my bed for another minute while my sista went to see him alreadi. Once i went to the room and see. I wad shocked! He was like lying on there struggling for his last breath. I see le, my heart really veri pain......... I couldnt bear to see him in that state. I noe he cant make it already and wan him to go peacefully. So i shout at him. I asked him to go! Don struggle already, next life be a gd person who can go aniwhere walk walk. Den once i said this, he's gone. Haix. And that when my tears drops. When my dad carry him to put on his old bed . His body alreadi soft. No heartbeat. See le. I dunnos wad to do also. Onli can keep staring at him And talk to him for the last time.



I remember 11 yrs ago, when we went to the pet shop to buy a dog. Actually i never choose him. But my parents like him. So we decided to buy him back home. He's so quiet. Brought him back home that time, he jus sit on there without moving around. Den i go carry him around the place. When he's tired, he will sleep on my lap. He's so cute.



After been awhile in the house, he starting to change. He become very playful. But he's very clever. He noe how to go toilet himself, he noes how to act cute to ask us to give him snacks to eat. He eats everything we eat. He understand wad we talking about. He loves to disturb my dad to bring him down for a walk. When we were playing together, he will barks loudly so that we will let him win. I like to disturb him when its raining, cos he scare of rains. And the onli time he will let me win. I like to dsiturb him when he's sleeping, cos he looks veri cute. And he like to disturb my sleep too. When he's on my bed, he will walk and sleep on my leg, whick makes me awake. But i jus don care him, i'll carry him and put him at other side. But he is a naughty boy, he will walk back n sleep on my leg agains. I lazy to wake up and carry him so we just sleep liddat till i wake up.





This past few months, it's really a suffering period for him. He seems very sick. Everyday, he cough and showing signs of breathing difficulty. My mum brought him to see doc, and the doc confirm that he's having heart problems and his lungs got water. He need to eat medicine for long term. When i hear this, i feel sad for him. For a dog to haf medication for long term and unable to go for walks. Its saddening and the worst part is he loves to go out. Haix. I see him in the way, oso make my heartache. This few weeks, when i see him panting seriously, i really got the tots of wanting to put him to sleep. Cos i see him liddat, i also feel veri xin ku. I want to help him, but theres no way out that i can help. Remember once, when he cant slp cos of his sickness i carry him to my lap and try to make him sleep. It works, he really fall aslp and scratch my leg. But i don mind, he can sleep i happy already. And me and my sista take turns to do that to him so as to let him rest for awhile.



Everything really happened too fast. I cannot accept the fact that he has left us. Its too sudden, last nite when i see him he's still fine. And now he's gone forever... I regret never carry him last nite, i regret not seeing him for a longer time, i regret not talking to him. I really regret! Now saying all these is useless already. He wont be able to appear in front of me and wag his tail to me animore. I realli miss him alot.



My mind is onli filled with the things happening in the morning. Whenever i close my eyes, i remember the scene. And i start crying. What can i do ? I keep go to the place where he lie on there struggling and the place where he lie there motionless. Hais.





[[ * Ah cash, hope you will be happier in the heaven. You can find your frens over there, you wont be suffering anymore. Everything will be good for you. Remember to become a good person next life. Don be a animal again. If not, you cannot go out walk walk. And you will always live in our hearts. We wont forget you for our whole lifetime. You are such a good companion. Thanks for accompanying us for the last 11yrs + . 3 more months will be your 12 yrs old birthday. Althou you wont be celebrating with us animore, we will still remember you always. Lastly, We LOVE you! Rest In Peace. *]] - *s0bs*





Byebye Ah Cash! I love you and misses you alot. Faster come home.

Went to meet my aiai and eat swensens~ HAHAs. And she's LATE agains lo, walaox. Aiais, u can don alwaes late anot? Still blame the train lehx. LOLs. Time abit rush, cos need to go buy her stuffs. HeHez. Luckily all bought! =D


After that, fei ge ge come fetch me @ bedok interchange to ECP. Actually wanna discuss wif him his stuffs. Bud! At last become discussing my matter agains. Walaox. Cry like siaos manns. Pengz. Buay tahan liaos. So he sit there and see me crys. LOLs. ke lians him ya? =x Need to sit there for so long. =) Thank you!!! HAHAs!
Sit there till 2am. Cools. On the wae home, we still kena police road block lehs. HAHAs. We both veri excited, cos both oso first time kena. LOLs. Luckily we nv drink ani liquor manns. =D


*Feeling very confusing! Is there really no ways to become like last time? Think i need to gif myself a deadline to this matter. If this keep dragging and dragging, there will be no ending, and end up both unhappy. Hais. If i keep holding on to dis, will there be happiness? Puzzled*

OMG!! Is todae a Black Fridae for me?? All sorts of stupid things happened to me!!! Why am i so suays? ArGhhhh...


Okies, started from morning, suppose to wake up earlier to make up and go to work cos todae going dinner wif colleagues. WAHs! Wake up , alreadi too late manns. No time to make up lo. Hais. NVM! Went to changi to haf breakfast, walk walk dunnos why stand on a hole lo. Den my heels stuck on that stupid lan hole, when i tried to pull out, the shoe sole spoilt!! Argghhh. Dis is a bad omen..... Warning me not to go to work. Bud i didnt realise!! KNS!


Eat full le, den proceed to work place. Wahss. Morning den kena sai do. Somemore dis sai is become Ah sum. Once ppls call to buy food, den must go out immediately and buy for them. OH MY GOD! Realli veri angry lo. Why shld i do such a thing? It's not fair lo. I'm not paid to do such work lo, somemore my workload alreadi veri jialet le. Alot of things oso cannot finish in time, haf to bring back home to do. Now got dis F***ing thing implement, how am i gonna complete my work b4 the deadline? Piangs eh. BTH ahhhh!! Feeling so wei qu lo!!!! Stupid Company, Idiot Boss. How i wish to throw my resignation on their face. Ask them go do themselves laaaa!! Everything onli use mouth to say, never think of the person who doing. Do till swee swee, they will keep quiet. If it screw up? One warning letter to you. Don even appreciate wad we doing. Wakaos. Jia Sai laaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Luckily todae going dinner wif mie, wen and kwee! Can eat eat eat till i happi. Forget all those irritating things happened! Went to Shokudo for dinner. Hmmms. The food there is nice except the rosti. HAHAs! Eat till 4 of us the tummy wanna explode liaos. HAHA! Talk about some stuffs happening in our office, make us laugh like mad! HAHAs. We promised to haf dinner every one month no matter wad. Hope we all can maintain our friendship!! HeHes. Cos the time spending together in office is going to end very soon. Counting to few more months. =( Bud we all noe that its good for us. NVM! Our dinner every month will still continues. HeHes. Thanks for being so concern about me. Sorries for the lies. Bud at least i noe, u all so care for me. =D *Touched*





These are the cards that can buy alot alot of food w/o paying FIRST. LOLx!






Our Sumptuous Japanese Feast! Hees.





Our Dessert. YUMMY!!! The waffles is damn nice!!


Bud i nv wait for them then eat le. Thats y mine got one part gone. HAHA!!! =p


After eating, we went to shop for awhile. Hmms. When to Agnes B to see see, saw a watch. Damn nice lo! Like it veri much, bud too expensive le. $395 lehs. Hais. If cheaper den gd, sure buy de lo. Sad Sad! *s0bs* Went to guess shop, wow! 15% storewide lehs! So bought a wallet for myself.
Pamper myself abit. KeKes. Finally bought a wallet le!! Yeahs. Somemore not expensive! =) Bud now thinking of the watch!! Hais. Cannot kena tempt tio manns. NO!!




*Waiting patiently for him to come and find me*

So tired todae! Cos yest taking care of my doggie till quite late. He's sick! So sad.. Hais.

Went to work like a zombie manns. Eyes keep wanna close. LOLs! Luckily todae no boss. Happy Happy!! =D But haf alot of things to clear lehs. Bo bians, cannot go 3rd floor chit chat lehs. SAD!
Nothing much to blog todae. HeHes.


Finally! Some of our misunderstanding cleared! HAHAs. But i think there's still more to go ya. Lets see how it goes bahs. Lets Jiayou! Mayb we shld realli go for a short holidae and relax ourselves!! :)

Woohoo! Going back to changi to visit MR.NG ltr!! HAHAs. Waiting for ppls to come and fetch me! XD

Now the time is 6.06am. And i'm here blogging.. Kaos, Cos jus reach home and bath not long ago. Waiting for my hair to dry. Hengs my hair not veri long, if not need to wait for a long time.

Aniwaes, thanks fei ge ge for fetching me home and once again be my listening ear ya? Realli appreciated that! Althou u need to work @ 8am tml, bud u still acc me. Heex. Xie Xie Ni. =)


Went to his hse veri last min at nites, cos my mood was not good. Den jus wanna go out, no wanna stay @ home. So i called him up @ ard 1030pm, and ask him out. At first, he keep say lazi go out. Walaos, luckily he see me so sians den agreed to acc me for awhile. HAHA. Wanna go his hse n haf drinking session de, but his hse martell, ahem..... open too long liaos he sae no taste liaos. LOLs. So i drank milo cereal.......... OMG. Nvm, wait for his martell comes, den i go n drink! HAHA! =x Pls remember the cheerful side of me ONLY!!


Don u realised that u seems like a changed person? I dunno i'm too sensitive or wad. Hais. Nowadaes, everything seems like a challenge to us. Nothing goes smoothly. And i'm feeling more n more insecure & lonely. Sometimes i think, do u realli care about me? Do u still haf feelings for me? If haf, why cant i feel it? Why do i feel that you don seems to bother about wad happening to me? I noe you are not a person who will show ur feelings. Bud sometimes, Action Speaks Louder Than Words! Honestly, i really not used to the lifestyle i had now. I try to treat it as nothing, but i cant succeed. And i make myself feels more xin ku. Think of it, its saddening. Our long relationship will turns out to be liddat. I know i had a bad temper, but even that u used to calm me down with your actions. Bud now, you don even bother about me. Hais. What can i sae? Life is so unpredictable.


我像个残废
飞不出你的世界
借不到一点安慰
为什么你拼命后退
退到了边界
结果我没了知觉
就连痛都嫌浪费
在爱里残废
非弄得伤痕累累
累到我无力再追
最怕你突然要挽回
回到了原点
原点却又像终点
然后 多痛一遍

sTart fR0m yEst... Hari Raya Puasa! Wahs, still need to go to work lo. KNS!! Ppls slp good good. And me? Wake up early to work, walaos. Damn sians can? Pengz. Bud luckily, not much thing to do lo. Jus walk walk tok tok. LOLs.


Finally get to tell my aiai about my matters. Actually don wanna tell her de, cos she's busi wif her studies and work. Hmmms. Bud at last, still tell her le. HAHAs. Feel veri relax after telling her all my problems. Cos she gif me great advises! Heez. And i get to understand more. And not keep thinking of the same qns over n over agains like siaos cha boh liddat. HAHAs. Thanks AIAI! LOVE YOU!! And Pls wait for me, I'm going ur hse for steamboat and drinking session!! HAHAs ^^ And n0t forgetting Fei Ge Ge. Thanks for be my listening ear. Xie Xie Ni!! =)


Hmmms. After work, Went to haf dinner wif him and his family, Cos his dad b'dae. Went jumbo to eat. Hmmms. The food there okies bahs, not bad. HAHAs. Nv eat much, cos gastric not feeling well lehs, scared ltr i vomit. *s0bs s0bs*


Hmmms. Actually wanna haf a gd talk wif him when reach home, but i'm too tired and i think he oso bahs. Bath le, den both sleep liaos . LOLs. Nvm, will find a chance to tok to him manns.


This morning cant wake up sias. Damn tired laaa!! Hmmms. He took some of his items back to home. See le, feel weird! Hais. It makes me feel even more insecure lo. Pengs. Aniwaes, let nature take its course bahs. Don wanna think too much. If not, i cant get to sleep agains!! I'm alreadi alwaes sick le, i tin plus dis one, Wahs. Dunnos how serious it will be. LOLs.

Half dae off, bud cant sleep. Walaos. Damn sad manns. Why! Why wan change todae? I need a bed manns. *cRys*